Tragic

Rachel. Or Siow Kuan. Or Hamster. Or Daniel's ex. No matter what i call her, she was one of the people that has a big influence in my life.

Rachel, was practically the first female friend i got to know since i entered tar college. She is cute, smart and adorable. Of course, girls like her are always taken. So do her. She was Wai Hoe's girlfriend. Sweet and lovely. In fact, they were the couple that was in the same group with me during orientation program. So i think i do have some fate with them, dont I?

Oh yeah, if you think that daniel and rachel sound so familiar with you, you are not wrong. It is just the most common name of the couple that appeared in movies and books. He used that name because of her i think. Sweet isnt it?

The released of SPM results are normally a relief for most of the 2009 candidates. I was lucky for scoring 12As1C. Thanks to English Literature that ruined my whole result slip thou. The release of the SPM result, however, are not quite a happy thing for the couple as Rachel has to make a decision that might influenced her future - whether to stay in tarc to complete A Level or proceed to Taylor for business course on a partial scholarship basis.

I have never involved in a relationship before thus i have totally no idea how she had struggled to make a decision between her future and her boyfriend. I just dont know that love can actually play such an important role in someone's life.

The day before Rachel left us and start a new life in a brand new college and environment, she broke down in front of all of us. That part of memories have been embedded so deep into my head that i still can recall most of the details even until today. It was physics practical, we were asked to conduct an experiment on pendulum and apparently it was Rachel's last lesson in tarc. She was moody for the whole day and after the experiment when daniel had left the class, she cried in front of us, half begging me to take care of her boyfriend. She was so afraid that his boyfriend will no longer concentrate on his studies after she left and was so worry that it would affect his future and his dream of becoming an engineer.

I could not remember the exact number of sms that she had sent me just to ask her boyfriend condition. But what i do remember is the shock that i gained through her love and her care towards her boyfriend. To be honest i was a little bit envy of daniel for being so lucky to have such a caring girlfriend. Both of them let me understand how sweet a love can be and make me someone who was so desperate for love that time. But something that i dont know by that time is they would soon make me feel the other way too.

Things changed. So easy, so fast.

It was suppose to be a happy day where one group of people will have fun, going to mid valley enjoy a movie together and celebrate the end of our exams. It was so hard to find a time where most of the people were free to hangout together, especially on the weekday. However, things normally do not go as smoothly as what you hope.

I dont know is whether the maths paper(which i do badly) or the long dull SWC meeting that have made me so frustrated that day. I become so emotional and blame daniel for some stupid reason. That dispute between us soon ruined my day. It was so hard for me to accept the truth that i was now out of the gang that i used to be, being alone again and forced to join in to another group which i am not that familiar with. What make thing worst is the sms i received later on that day - "does wai hoe behave strangely or stalking a particular girl recently?"

Women are definitely one of the most sensitive creature on earth. They are always the first one to notice a small change in surrounding environment, outer appearance or .... heart. Having dispute with daniel do not means that i never care about his stuff anymore. In fact i felt guilty that time and was finding a chance to apologize to him. I was stunned reading that message and was determined to find out what had happened. I would never want to see them breaking up cause if that really happened, it would not just broke the relationship between them but at the same time will spoil the impression of love to me. You know how much do i envy them before. They just simply represent how sweet and how lovely a couple can be to me.

There is no secret that can be kept forever. It was so soon that i realized what was going on. Thanks to the trip of genting highland.

Being a scout for 5 years do make me quite an adventurous and independent person. It was the last day of college before the holiday begins and the D class has planned an overnight trip to Genting Highland. They have plan to go right after the last lecture of the day. I remember that i oversleep that day and was absent to college. Thanks to the encouragement from nan tyan and invitation from both hoho and jonathan, i decided to went up genting highland alone and met them there. That was yet the other decision that i would never regret in my life.

Depart to Genting by 4.30 from KL Sentral and reach there around 6pm was definitely not a good idea. What make it worst is when you have to go up all ALONE. But no matter what, i was inside the bus after thinking for hours at home. I was reluctant to go up at first because i was somehow scare and not ready to face daniel yet, whom i have just quarrel with not many days ago.

Things start to be clear after a little bit of pool and dinner up there in Genting. Before daniel left, he passed a doll to Linda as gift. It was then i sensed something wrong with him. That doll has caused another dispute between linda and yii huey where the latter proclaim that linda should not have accepted the gift from daniel as he was occupied and not single. Later in that night, after a bit of alcoholic drink, finally i get to know the truth which was so painful to hear - a change in heart in my friend, the friend who once i think hold the most stable relationship with his girlfriend. The friend whom i think was so sweet and lovely with his love before and all of that looks like they will last forever. (Well at least for a longer period?)

I found it hard for me to accept the truth. I found it even harder to accept it when i get to know that Gary has just broke up with his girlfriend too and Vincent was currently in a deep relationship problem with his girlfriend and most probably was going to break up as well. All this events that happened in such a short period of time made me lost my confidence toward love. My impression of love was turned totally upside down. Love is so gray for me at the moment.

I called Rachel. She cried and there was nothing much i can do about it. But something that i know for sure is the crack between me and daniel has just turned bigger and deeper. The friendship that bond us so strong once before seems so fragile now.

My friendship with daniel however does not end at here. Thanks to the orientation program that made us work as a team again. We looked as good and as friendly as before but something that my friend would not know is since the day he broke up with rachel, i never call him daniel anymore. I call him wai hoe.

And the other thing that i have hide is the doll that ended up in the hotel's rubbish bin.